double click to enlarge slideshow; FOSTER THE PEOPLE in waikiki

Foster the People Review Part 1:Aloha Tower, Waikiki

My goals for the weekend were to see Foster the People at Aloha Tower with my good irish friend and old Maui surfing buddy Lisa McInnis and to get some water time. Both missions were accomplished. (Thanks Agent 99!) We got to the Aloha Tower around 7pm and enjoyed the balmy weather hoping it would last through the show. As usual, as soon as the gates opened at 8pm, I shot like a bullet to the front row, making the mistake (which ended up being not-a-mistake) of ending up on the under 21 side. The band was scheduled to come on at 8pm but were 45 minutes late which, even if it did prompt some name calling and swearing, would have been drownded out by either 1) the extremely loud pumping jams of the DJ who was to the right of the stage dutifully cranking the eardrum shattering decibels across the waiting crowd OR 2) the sound of coughing and hacking due to the smoke machine triggering asthmatic reactions across the populace. According to state data, Hawaii has the highest asthma rates in the nation at 17.6% of the population for adults and 28.3% of the population for high school students. (2010 and 2009 data, respectively) So, if there are any entertainment lawyers out there, I highly recommend that you tell your performers to turn off those machines at any concert played in Hawaii. Actually, go ahead and throw them off the plane into the Pacific Ocean. Why not use a massively huge humidifier instead? Don't forget to pour in a jar or two of medicated Vick's. It makes cool-looking ambient vapor and actually mentholates the air simultaneously. It opens up our hawaiian asthmatic bronchial passages, thereby allowing us to scream and sing more while actually deodorizing the sweaty, stinky dancers at the same time. Just a random 'how bout killing 2 birds with one stone' thought.
The funniest line of the night was the whine behind me of a kid saying "This is taking too long [for the band to come on]. This is actually longer than school!" I turned around to see the cutest local version of the Peanuts character Marcie with a disgruntled look on her face and... who could blame her. But the band eventually came on and played, completely amped out on every tune and ended with Pumped Up Kicks. No intermission. No encore. Just an hour and 15 minutes of straight high energy. It was the equivalent of drinking a shot of Jeigermeister rather than sipping on a fine Cabernet in alcoholic terms. It was worth it [I have always wanted to see Foster the People live],although the albuterol did have to come out that night due to the smoke machine (I heard other people complaining about their asthma also) and hasn't returned to the medicine cabinet yet. BUT....I am VERY happy and stoked I got to see the band . They rocked it. It also didn't rain which was a blessing and Mark called the island "beautiful....a paradise." He takes his craft 100% seriously , executing his music like a Manhattan businessman getting down to it. A businessman that has downed a can of Red Bull. The most impressive part of the performance was how Mark can dance around like that, move his feet, his legs, his hips, EVERYTHING, and yet keep his fingers still enough on his keyboard to play the chords correctly. I just was amazed that he could do that. It was a feat beyond imagination. He sings and performs with heart and soul. Pontius completely amped it on drums... Monster style, all of them and then *poof!* they were gone. This was ok, the entire 'now you see me, now you don't' because they came out before the show and cavorted with the music loving peasants. And I loved meeting and talking to the charming Cubbie Fink and thought it very cool that Foster came out and took photos with the People. It just put smiles on everyone's faces (ok...yes...it 'fosters the people'...happy now??....) and added to the positive vibe. Now,to change the subject entirely, have you ever seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? I am talking about the 1978 remake starring Donald Sutherland. Remember the scene where an alien discovers that the human is not 'one-of-them' [e.g. the body has not been snatched] and so lets out this horrible silent scream (apparently it was at a decibel only audible to other aliens, sort of like a dog whistle]?? That was the freakiest part of the movie...haunts me to this day...and it is actually 100% relevant to the next part of my story. The story about the VIP section of FTP. Stay tuned, Chief.

Foster the People Part 2 RE: The VIP section

I have been to a lot of shows in my life. Big stadium type venues. Small intimate shows in a maximum capacity 400 person building.College auditoriums. Outdoor concerts. Amphitheaters. etc. A lot of times there is a VIP section for those who want premium seating. The VIP section at FTP was unusual because for 2012, they were super cheap. $60. I was going to procure them for Lisa and myself because they were so reasonable and what-the-heck...but I couldn't because they were sold out. And at that price, one can see why. Now the thing that was so interesting about this show, was that they (the VIP people) were literally sandwiched right up against the (for lack of a better word) commoners. Or...lets say, the general admission ticket holders. First off, at the Strokes/Pearl Jam concert at Alpine Valley last year, for example, the VIP section seats were $1000. You can command a little haughtiness at prices like that. But at $60? Come on, people! The only thing that separates you and us is a bucket of chicken from KFC. So, psychologically, it was interesting how the women (not the men at all, interestingly, just the women) were just lording their VIP status over the GA section. It was ridiculous and frankly, the most odious display of classism I have ever witnessed. The sad thing was that it wasn't even real classism but 'fake classism', because the VIP tickets were freakin' $60. That's 2 large pizzas, people! So, at one point, before the show, this lady in a glittery gown comes over to us as if cavorting with peasants and says "What are you guys singing? Is that a Foster the People song?" [all the kids were singing the hip hop tunes the DJ was spinning in unison] "Uhhhhh....no." "Oh!" she said, embarrassed, clearly knowing very little about the band she was about to see. "Well, its so nice to meet you," she said demurely to the people in the front row of GA and then she almost shook their hands or something but then hesitated and walked away. It was...bizarre. I think she was trying to be nice but somehow mistook herself for Grace Kelly on a visit to Bangladesh circa 1953. People are...uh...weird. I am not going to go into all the descriptions right now of the foolish things the women in the VIP section said or did but lets just say, its better when the section is geographically farther away and it doesn't have to be witnessed. Now I was wearing a punk outfit at this particular show...black leather biker jacket, zipper dress, jolly roger tights and combat boot style shoes. You can't wear an outfit like that and not do something a little...naughty. It's got to be earned;otherwise you are just posing. So I decided that at some point, it would be fun to climb over the little barrier into VIP and dance around a bit and maybe take some closer-up photos. Of course, I did it because its a rarity that I don't accomplish something I set out to do. Maybe 4 songs from the last, I climbed right over (easy) and I got a really great shot of MArk Foster (in slideshow) and was dancing around a bit when halfway through a song, this girl turns around and points at me and says "She doesn't have a VIP bracelet!" No one seemed to care and she got no reaction so she repeated it. Again. And again. And again. Finger pointing, voice accelerating in urgency....still, no one cared. The people around her actually laughed (I just don't think they cared and thought the scene rather funny) but then eventually, a guard did come over to tell me I had to move back into the GA section. I smiled and said, "Sure" and calmly walked along the stage to where I could go back to the GA area. It was really no big deal. But the thing that sort of freaked me out was that the girl looked exactly like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I mean EXACTLY. Her face. Her mouth. Her pasty skin and desperate eyes. Her facial hair that she really should have waxed. EVERYTHING. (see sidebar to the right above Black Keys photo) Honestly, I think she may have been an alien.

Foster The People March 18 2012 Aloha Tower, Oahu

I will write about this. There is a lot to write about.

This is here for purely aestethic reasons

IT IS SAID...

That MORRISEY is coming to Hawaii.... a BAMP project. Stay tuned.